Hey there, I'm Rae,
a 26 year old,
geeky, biromantic grey-asexual lady,
feminist,
struggling with depression and anxiety.
Please, never forget
you are loved, friend.
If you do forget, I'll be here to remind you.♡
While out on my adventures the other day, I stopped at the farmers market to get some of their exceptional peach cider and a group of four college age girls all got out of an SUV, dressed somewhat identically (white face mask, gray or white top, dark bottoms, uggs) and headed up to the barn.
One of them shouted ‘PUMPKIN’ and pointed to one of the 90lb pumpkins they had out front and all of them ran to see it up close, taking turns with their phones to get a selfie each.
They were absolutely overjoyed to see pumpkins, turning every squash they could find over and over and taking pictures of it. They must have taken a hundred photos total.
It is entirely possible that this was their first time visiting a farm.
So I got my gallon of cider, some honey, and some fudge and those girls were in the line, each with a pumpkin held about belly height like they were six months pregnant with it.
Well… sort of.
Three of them were in line like that and the fourth of them ran up with a package of fudge. “Ladies look! Pumpkin Spice Fudge!”
“Oh my god where??”
So two of them went back to the fudge and got more fudge, got back in line.
Then another one went missing and came back with a bag. “Oh my god! Pumpkin Spice Popcorn???”
“I didnt think you could DO that!!”
“Where???
"Girls, we need a cart!”
This happened ad hominem until I think they had every single pumpkin spice item in the barn: soap, candles, taffy, cakes, breads, mixes… it filled a cart and was easily $300 worth of pumpkin spice stuff plus their pumpkins and they were so excited to have it all. It was treasure. It was a bounty. They had hunted well and their stores would be stocked for the winter.
And on the one hand I’m rolling my eyes because pumpkin spice is just… cinnamon, nutmeg, and clove. But on the other hand.. they were so excited.
Like they were so excited to see pumpkins in a place that grows pumpkins and not at a grocery store and I suppose the takeaway is:
May you find unequaled joy in something as simple as a pumpkin in a place where pumpkins grow.
I’ve talked about my personal definition of magic but I want to talk about it again. It’s this particular feeling that I don’t know how to explain so I’m going to give examples.
It’s wrapping the dressing gown around me that V gave me, on the last day she lived in the same country of me, and told me how she was given it by a woman she loved, but she never got a chance to be with properly because she moved away.
It’s a kiss on the forehead when you’re poorly and someone is looking after you.
It’s hearing nothing but the sea and the sleep breathing of someone you love.
It’s waking up knowing everyone you love is under the same roof and looking out at the morning sky and seeing only clouds, as if beyond the window is an empty white void, and feeling content because you don’t need anything from the outside world anyway.
It’s having a “sorry I had to take you to the vet” cuddle with your dog after the vet tells you your dog is completely fine.
It’s drinking a mystery herbal tea from a big deep cup.
It’s being so tightly held in the arms of someone you love you think you’ll never be able to let go.
It’s when Fleetwood Mac hits just right and it hurts but it feels good.
It’s that tiny chance bumping into someone that led to something amazing.
It’s that feeling inside when someone genuinely compliments something you’ve made.
It’s eating sushi with chopsticks when you were so hungry and you have to splash your feet to deal with the joy.
It’s being lost in the pouring rain in a strange city with someone you love.
there is no final version of yourself. we never stop growing or changing, nor should we. stop beating yourself up for not being ‘there’ yet.
The final version of yourself is the one you die in I think
Oh, well I don’t know how it works with you mortals
fun fact! this quote has gotten popular on twitter, where no one has any idea it’s from a tumblr shitpost, or of the horrors that lurk in the original notes
i can’t see “man residue” with my own two eyes and not immediately make assumptions about what this person - and this type of separatist ideology - thinks about sex workers.
the concept of “protecting” the “purity and sanctity” of (white cis bourgeois) “womanhood” has never to my knowledge been anything other than a reactionary impulse.
seeing the corruption of women’s bodies as indicative of/leading to the corruption of the community (threatened by: men of colour, immigrants, working outside the home, having premarital sex, masturbation, trading sex for money or essential services, fucking bycicles at one point) harms real people in real life. it obviously harms all bi people, especially bi women trapped in or who have recently left abusive relationships with men. but it also harms sex workers. it harms immigrant communities and moc, and trans women/transfem/amab nb people, and teenagers who have no access to anything other than abstinence based sex-ed, and every single person who can’t access emergency birth control or abortions.
not to make redundant points but this is what happens if you uncritically accept the radfem/catholic position on sex positivity. sex. is. not. inherently. damaging. stop. talking. about. sex. as. if. it. took. away. pieces. of. your. soul.
think for one goddamn second about what you’re saying and its implications. and read revolting prostitutes.
And then your hip would break because their medical staff is garage and they don’t have the same regulations as over so no you’re back to square one you fucking tool
that is american propaganda used to justify their lack of a working healthcare system. it’s not true and even if it was what good would having slightly better healthcare do if it’s only accessible by the richest members of society?
You absolute fucking clown. Lmao
Damn. Spains healthcare sure isnt garage like they said
God Americans are so fucking brainwashed like seriously imagine thinking a first world country in Europe of all places is medically inferior, the patriot brain rot is strong
On this day last year 23-year-old Korryn Gaines was killed by Baltimore County police and her 5-year-old son was shot in the limb.
She was wanted for a traffic violation, but apparently a SWAT team thought she was way too dangerous for them to try and arrest her without fatally shooting her.
If your child is in the middle of some activity and clearly enjoying it (and wasn’t supposed to be doing something else instead), DO NOT interrupt them and have them do chores that will “only take 5 minutes or so!”
You haven’t asked them to do anything before they got out the Legos, started reading a chapter of their book or painting the complicated picture, or began playing their video game.
As a result of being repeatedly interrupted, they will learn that their presence in public space of the household=availability to do chores, so they will make themselves scarce so you can’t find them and order them around. They will also become suspicious of your efforts to engage with them as they play, as they’ve learned that these pleasantries are a prelude to “Take out the trash”, or “move your boots and vacuum the entryway, there’s dirt everywhere ”.
“But I need my children to help me around the house!”, I hear you cry. I understand. Children should not be treated like royalty and left to their own devices 24/7.
An alternative is to give the kids a clearly delineated chore chart and stick to it, resisting the urge to add anything to it. There are some chores that are easier and quicker with two people, though. A (in my opinion) even better option is to divide the child’s day into “on-duty” and “off-duty ” time. When they’re on-duty, you can interrupt them as before, but you have *consulted with your child beforehand * and they understand that during this time they can relax, but they must be ready to jump in and lend a hand.
That way they won’t start trying to level up in their video game or break out the clay and make stuff. When they are off-duty, you leave them alone and their only responsibilities are to clean up whatever mess they make at the end of this time.
Also, if they are tearing around the house or whining about being bored, don’t make them do chores so they will “have something to do”; this could make the child conflate extra chores with punishment for whining and make them reluctant to help out when you randomly tell them to at other times because they might think they’re being punished but they have NO IDEA WHAT THEY DID. And IMO children should see chores as things everyone has to do no matter what, not punishments.
I may seem unqualified to offer parenting advice as I have no kids, but I was talking with my dad today and he said: “I wish you didn’t hide from us in your room so much, but every time your mom walked by she’d give you a chore to do, so I can’t blame you for that.” A kid who hides in their room to play has an entirely different relationship to the family than the child who sprawls on the livingroom floor and excitedly describes the city they are building out of Legos.
And today, in times of Covid I play a complicated game of hide-and-seek with my mother as I try to do my online coding homework and apply for jobs. I am now attempting to turn my bedroom into my own tiny office because if I work in our home office, she’ll find me and go “I can’t attach this file to my email,” and so on.
Children *have* to obey their parents when they are young. But true respect and honoring collective responsibilities is stronger than forced obedience. If you demonstrate to your children that you respect them and their time, they will reciprocate.
Tl;dr if your child is “always hiding in their room”, there is a reason for it and setting a regular routine and boundaries will benefit both of you in the long run.
This characterization is definitely emphasized with Ty Lee’s acrobatics, flexibility, and ability to hit pressure points. There’s a level of subtlety and precision that is required for such skills. She had to know her own body to be able to bend it in such ways, and she has to know other people’s bodies to be able to disable them.
One of the best twist moments in Avatar is when Ty Lee suddenly and dramatically turns against Azula at the Boiling Rock. Azula was completely convinced that Ty Lee would obey her without question forever, but Azula wasn’t the only one fooled. Mai is just as shocked when Ty Lee rebels as Azula is. Ty Lee’s survival instincts were so sharp that she never let anyone know what she was thinking, not Azula, not Mai, and certainly not Zuko.
Zuko really believed that Ty Lee didn’t understand who he was at all. He completely bought into the act that she’s just a puppet for Azula, who lives in her “little Ty Lee world where everything’s great all the time”. But the thing is, Ty Lee is one of the most perceptive characters in the show, and she’s excellent at keeping that on the down low, but she sees a lot more of Zuko than he thinks, and a lot of what she sees is very familiar to her.
Overshadowed by prodigious siblings?
Wanting to be acknowledged for the talents you have rather than the talents you don’t?
Kept in line by fear?
Spending your whole life bending over backwards to fit the persona the royal family has set for you?
people with bad taste are always like “yurr hurr The Beach is about zuko and mai and how they’re a great couple” while intellectuals know that Actually The Beach is about mining any and all of the untapped friendship potential of this striking exchange
And pretty much from the moment you meet her, it’s fairly clear that there’s more to her than her lighthearted, bubbleheaded persona, long before she uses her battle skills. Look at what happens when Azula recruits her.
Azula used blatant intimidation tactics to get Ty Lee to comply, ordering the net to be set on fire and all the animals released (which, for the record, would not only have endangered Ty Lee but the circus creatures themselves–I bet Ty Lee was attached to them, and that would’ve been a double threat in itself). Ty Lee is visibly terrified, but instead of calling her out or letting Azula see that she was intimidated, she says this:
Instead of endangering herself by pointing out that Azula crossed a line, Ty Lee falls back on her talk of “the universe” and “auras,” talk that canonically gets her indulged or dismissed but never taken seriously.
She knows that Azula’s dangerous. There’s no way she doesn’t know that Azula is threatening her. But if she can keep Azula from realizing she knows that, she’s a little safer.
Because she’s one of maybe two people Azula never considered as potential enemies–even (especially, but that’s another thread) Ozai is a threat in her mind, but Mai and Ty Lee are the closest thing Azula has to trusted friends, right up until their betrayal.
Ty Lee’s spent a lifetime cultivating a personality that not only allows her to stands out among her siblings–it protects her from being treated as a threat. When you’re friends with Azula, that is an essential facade to maintain. and she does it consistently enough that no one ever sees through it.
All of the Fire Nation kids are so messed up. Zuko’s just the one who gets in the most trouble, because he’s the only one who doesn’t have a mask.
Amazing discussion and there’s one more thing to add to it, specifically in the context of the episode with The Beach.
Azula gets jealous of the male attention that Ty Lee is getting. It’s not the same as being a threat, but it does put Ty Lee in a dangerous position because she has something Azula wants. It doesn’t take much for Azula to turn dangerous and threatening when there’s something she wants and perceives an obstacle in the way, and Ty Lee knows this. And with just a few words, a compliment to Azula, she sets her at ease and makes herself seem vapid (“just laugh at whatever they say even if it’s not funny”) while giving advice. Which means Azula can take or leave her advice but won’t perceive Ty Lee as a real threat to the attention she craves because Ty Lee is getting attention for “being vapid” and not because she’s naturally beautiful and charming.
Its a simple, efficient, and incredible manipulation of a very dangerous and volatile person. Again the agility and flexibility, and no wonder Azula didn’t see her betrayal coming. Every time Ty Lee has entered even the possibility of being a threat to Azula in any realm, she’s immediately flipped the situation to put Azula seemingly back in control and put herself back into a nonthreatening role. Right up until her betrayal.
